All too often people will just jump to the conclusion that the person next to them has an easy life or has had an easy life. But in reality, we are all given obstacles (challenges, crosses - whatever you wish to call them), but it is our choice to either curl up and feel sorry for ourselves or to learn and grow from them. For example, my life appeared easy to many: happy, young, athletic (body builder, swimmer, runner, triathlete), full of energy, happily in love (and still today).... But what was going on behind the soft gentle smile and laughs is what others don't know.
When I was first diagnosed with lupus, my husband and I were totally caught off guard and had just had our first child. For those of you who have lupus, this probably doesn't sound too surprising. Thank God, 13 (almost 14 years later) he is a very healthy happy boy. But at the time, he was taken away from me to go to the ICU and get his dose of surfactant (sp). Fortunately, it worked quickly and he came home a few short days after his birth. I'm not going to go into the complications with pregnancy and delivery that the lupus caused because this could be a story in itself. What I will say is we not only survived but also enjoyed the pregnancies and deliveries of 3 high risk children- early delivery, ICU, diabetes and more. We just took these challenges and flipped them into treasures that we gained from. Actually, 'just' is a poor choice of words because it took alot of effort: but we did it.
At this point I really didn't know much about the lupus other than 'Can I have more children?" That question was the only thing on my mind - not how was I going to be affected. After many tests, in which the conversations always seemed to go like this:
Dr.: I doubt if you have this, but let's test for it...
Result: Positive... and on for more test. (and my heart sunk but nearly as far as my husbands. He saw the pain I was going through and the risk, and all I saw was what do we need to do to have more children safely)
Good news, because I always like to bring out the good side is, "Yes, I can have more children...if..."
The Challenging News: I need to use a steroid during pregnancy because there is a high chance my children (newborn babies) would need a pacemaker at birth if I don't. I still remember that doctor explaining the pros and cons to my husband and me of using the steroid. Honestly, though, my ears shut off with the pace maker part. I'm sure my husband was hearing what could happen to me but I really didn't care - outside of the fact that I need to be here to take care of our children.
So time goes on and the lupus is manageable and we have 3 beautiful healthy babies - high risk (and many challenges), but we made it and so did they. Thanks to our wonderful supporting parents, friends and family.
Outside of tests and inconveniences of many doctor appointments, life was great and the lupus wasn't in control until one day.
That's when the seriousness of the whole lupus thing hit me. I am home with our children 4,2, and a 6 month old, and I'm not feeling very good. The next day rolls around and I need to ask my husband to take off work because I am so sick I can't get out of bed. I thought I had a bad flu - aches, pains, uncomfortable, and possibly a fever but I can't remember. All I could think of was, how can I care for our children. I am a stay at home mom and they only know me as the caregiver (family but no sitters or anything). They count on me solely during the day: I am still nursing, I feed them, I teach them (reading, math, writing) etc. What can I do? We made it through sooooo much in our lives together, there must be a solution.
Yes, I could have curled up and given up. But what good would that do for me or my family. It would've been easier I suppose but not practical. The next day I woke up feeling pretty good. I had a few episodes that paralleled this exactly so I started tracking what I ate, when I ate, and when I slept. I even asked one of my doctors if this was a symptom of lupus. He said no. Did that stop me to find a solution? Of course not. I had to find a solution because my family need me and honestly, I needed them. Coincidently, my husband brought an article home that he had read about a young violinist that had lupus. One of the first things she describes was flu-like symptoms and linking it to sleep and diet.
BINGO! We saw so hope to find a solution. I went back to my strict nutritional program that I once had with Shaklee. I went back to making sure I slept well - Some of you are probably thinking - how with a newborn and two other young children. But when you want something, you find a way to get it. Sure enough, the episodes got fewer and shorter in length. I look back and think, "Wow, I never would've imagined that I'd feel so great."
My lupus is totally dormant now with no permanent damage to my kidneys at this time. I hardly ever have to see my slew of doctors. In fact, I just go periodically to make sure things are good: the routine maintenance that 'normal' people do.
I am 42 with a heart/soul and activity level of a 20 year old. If you passed by my house, you easily could see me rolling down a nearby hill with my children, playing kickball or soccer, riding backs or a quiet walk with my husband. All of which were inconceivable a few years ago. Who would have ever guessed the comeback that I would have. Not my doctors and probably not most people who know me. But my husband and I knew there was a different path for me.
Since I've been blessed with a comeback, does it mean that I don't have to pay attention to my lifestyle - sleep, stress, and nutrition etc...? Of course not, I will always have to do that. Do I spend a lot of money on supplements? Not in my mind: $7 a day with a day with a home business that easily pays that back to me and much more. Not to mention the positive changes in my life that I can't put a price tag on. Life's good and it should be enjoyed. If you aren't enjoying your life, then it is time to reevaluate it and see what you might need to change.
If you'd like to know more about my supplement program (click here) or lupus, feel free to contact me at healthandharmony@comcast.net. I'd be happy to help you and save you any of the work and pain that I have gone through.
